Why do many couples in the Netherlands live together before they get married?
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If you are new to the Netherlands, you may notice that many couples live together without being married. Sometimes they get married later on, sometimes they do not. Things used to be different. You can read about why that is in this article.
What was it like in the old days?
In the 1950s and early 1960s, many people in the Netherlands considered it normal for a couple to get married first and only then move in together. Living together without being married did happen, but not often. Many people felt it was improper or unwise. For many people, living together was only appropriate once married.
In earlier centuries, this was not merely a common social norm. The authorities could also intervene if a man and a woman lived together out of wedlock. A couple might first be told that they had to marry or separate. If they failed to do so, a heavy fine could follow. In some periods, people could also be sent away for a long time.
At the beginning of the 19th century, cohabitation outside marriage was removed from
Faith played a major role in this. This was true of large groups of people from
A marriage between a Catholic and a Protestant could also be difficult. This could raise questions such as: which church do you attend, how do you pray together, and how do you bring up your children? That is why families and churches could find such a marriage difficult. The well-known
Why did that change later on?
From the 1960s and 1970s onwards, Dutch society underwent significant change. People were less likely to belong to established Catholic or Protestant groups. The influence of the church on daily life diminished. This was partly due to greater
As a result, people became less dependent on their own social group and were increasingly free to choose how they wanted to live. More women also went on to study and work. Marriage remained important to many people, but it became more of a personal choice and less of a fixed social obligation. Living together before marriage gradually became more common.
According to figures from
As well as getting married, there are other ways to register a partnership
If you do wish to formalise your relationship, in the Netherlands you can also opt for a
Research shows that many unmarried couples who live together do not go on to marry, even after a few years. This means that, for many people in the Netherlands, living together is no longer just a stepping stone, but a normal form of relationship in its own right.